Hidden Talent

"Believe in yourself.  You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you can imagine."

Roy T. Bennett

Growing up I never considered myself talented.  I always admired those who played the violin, or those who could bring a church to tears with a single hymn. There were many things, like any child, that I wanted to be when I grew up, but, naturally, the fear of being good at anything, or even succeeding always took over inside of me.

What if I wasn't good enough?  What if I mess up?  What if I say something wrong and offend someone?  What if I try and fail?  The what if game could go on and on and on...and sometimes it's still a struggle for me in every day life.  Even with this blog!

I never saw the best of me and the lie of me believing that I would never amount to anything still plays in my head from time to time.  It's something I struggle with on a daily basis.  So, naturally, when God called me to do this blog, me being the obedient daughter that I am, said no! 

Writing was always a challenge for me. It was one of my greatest weaknesses. No, seriously, I almost failed English class my senior year of high school! The struggle was real!!! I so was unqualified!!! To me, this was God having a sense of humor, but He left out the funny part. He wasn't just asking me to write, He was asking me to open up and share the personal experiences of my life...on a public blog! 

Side note:  

Can you imagine the deliverance my facial expressions needed then? Go ahead...it's okay to laugh at me, I laugh at myself all the time!  

Looking back, I definitely put up one heck of a fight! Only a handful of people, to this day, know who I really am deep inside, now I was being asked to open up and share my life. The broken pieces of a shattered life. Yes, I was definitely terrified!

A million questions were going through my mind... What would people think? Would they condemn or scrutinize me?  I do recall a time I tried to share a glimpse of my life with someone later in life of abuse I endured as a child...her response, I was the one to blame.  To this day, I will never understand that way of thinking. It was experiences like that which made me close the door, and never let others in again. 

God saw something more and wasn't ready to give up yet. So, day after day God would nudge me. Day after day, my response would still remain the same. What I failed to realize is that God is more stubborn than me... So, a month later I said yes, but under certain conditions....

Before I move on, let's be realistic because I know there are people out there gasping...you gave God conditions?!?! Yes, but God already knows our views before we even speak a word. He knows us, better than we know ourselves.  So the "terms and conditions" I was giving, He had already made room for! That's why He didn't give up, because He knew where my heart was and knew I was perfect candidate for this position.  I, on the other hand, sometimes still question that decision.  

This blog, pulled me out of my comfort zone. When all you see are some words written on a page, I see something more. I was a nobody from the streets of Detroit.  Someone who hid the scars and fears, put a smile on her face and just walked through life as if everything was okay! This is a look inside my life.  The fears, the pain and so much more. Through it all, God never left my side. He trained me, equipped me and made me qualified.  

Shortly after I began to write, the responses started flooding in. God was using my life experiences and the words I wrote to bless and help many others.  People who felt alone in their struggles, or thought there wasn't anyone who could relate. People who felt alone or afraid.  I never knew the impact my life would have on others. God took what was meant for evil and He made it good! (Genesis 50:20)

The fear slowly began to fade. Writing became less and less of a chore. Eventually, I fell in love with it. It showed me a different outlook on things and how God will use someone's life and make it a testimony.   There was another hidden purpose that was recently revealed to me. God called me to blog this, so He could also use it to heal me.  In the end, God took one of my greatest weaknesses and made it one of my strengths.  

God qualifies the unqualified. My life is so off course from perfection, it's not funny!!! I have made so many mistakes in life and still have so much I need to learn, but the one thing I have learned is that He doesn't cause bad things to happen.  However, He will use what was meant for our harm and turn it around for good, even if we can't see it yet.  So, by faith I choose to stand, no matter the cost.

There is someone out there today reading this blog and it's not by chance you came across it. So, my question to you is:

What is He asking of you today?  

My advice, follow through. Don't be afraid to  let Him make your mess into a masterpiece by taking that leap of faith today! Rest assured that He will be with you every step of the way... You never know what impact a little mustard seed of Faith will make! 

I love you all. May God bless you and your families and keep you safe  Until next time.

Through It All by Colton Dixon:

Now may the God of peace [the source of serenity and spiritual well-being] who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepard of the sheep, through the blood that sealed and ratified the eternal covenant, equip you with every good thing to carry out His will and strengthen you [making you complete and perfect as you ought to be], accomplishing in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Hebrews 13:20-21 AMP