The Unforgiving Heart

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."

 

Lewis B. Smedes

 

 

 

At one point or another we have all been hurt.  It's simply inevitable.  For some it can be mild, for others, life changing.  If you don't work past the hurt it can consume your life like an uncontrollable fire.  Eventually, it will turn into hate, and if you allow it to go further, bitterness.

 

For most of my childhood instead of coping with the heartache and pain, I just simply went through life building up and unbreakable wall.  I didn't and still don't allow many in because I am afraid to trust anyone because I don't want to feel anymore heartache and pain. 

 

For years it ate at me and without knowing it I allowed all that pain to turn into anger.  During my divorce, all that hurt turned into hate and I wanted to prove to the people who never believed in me and always hurt me that they could never hurt me again!  I wanted to prove to them that I could and would survive without them.  

 

So, for the next couple years, I focused on my current husband and my 3 amazingly beautiful children.  I was rebuilding my life and my family.  I enjoyed every minute of it, even if I didn't express it. 

 

It wasn't until last year that I took a long look in the mirror and hated the person I had become.  I was bitter at life.  I had a negative outlook.  Hope was indeed fadeless.  Everything I had worked on was slipping through my fingers and life was collapsing again. 

 

The bible says to:

 



"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-_it leads to evil.

 

 Psalm 37:8 NIV

 

 

I however, ran right into the belly of the beast!  I never, not once in my life wished anything bad on anyone and I had come to the point that I didn't care what happened to people. 

 

I felt ashamed because I am not that person!  Things definitely needed to change and in order to change, you need to find the source of the problem.  So, I just started following the clues the Lord was giving me...and trust me, there are clues!!!



 

Every time I would have a conversation, turn on a message or even the radio, it was always on forgiveness...However, if you haven't figured out, I am a stubborn soul!  Especially if I have my mind set...just saying!

 

 

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

 

Matthew 6:14-15  NIV 

 

Last year that is one of the many verses that always rang in my head...

However, I also thought I had honestly forgiven those that had wrong me.  It wasn't until one of the pastors I met took me through a deliverance process that I realized I had more people to forgive than I had originally thought.

 

After completing this process, I felt a sense of freedom, a release that I have never felt before.  It was like I was walking on air and I could breath for the first time in  a long time.

You always hear that forgiveness is for you and not the other person and at that moment, for the first time, I believed it to be true.  However, don't ever think that's the end of the enemy toying with your mind!

On that day I chose to forgive, but it's not a one time deal.  It's a daily act and if you don't forbid unforgiveness from coming back, it will creep back in like the snake in the garden and admittedly, I let that snake back in, without even realizing it!

The difference is, I was able to recognize the problem this time and take care of it.  That is something we all have to learn to do.  Don't give anyone the satisfaction of thinking they can get to you or steal your joy.  Don't close your heart up!  Continue to love, even if it's not returned!  Those are gifts from the Lord and nothing should stand in the way of that!

I will even let you on a little secret, the person you are mad at has more than likely moved on!  So don't stay a prisoner, choose to forgive today and move forward with you life.  The life God has laid out for you!

 

 "Yes, forgiveness is a choice, and it has nothing to do with the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness is the choice to hand your hurts over to God and let Him make up the difference.  When we choose to extend forgiveness, that's when we choose to receive His forgiveness! Today, choose God's way, choose forgiveness, and choose to move forward in the blessing and victory He has prepared for you!"

 

Joel Osteen

 

 

Forgiveness by Michael West